A Congregation of Motherfuckers in the Senate:
You'd think that at some point, even the most devoted motherfucker would get exhausted from fucking all those mothers. Even stars of gang-bang porn need a day or two to let a torn asshole heal. But not the Republicans in the United States Senate. They are motherfuckers who can't get enough of the motherfucking. You ask them about any issue, they respond by saying, "We're motherfuckers. Do you expect us to not fuck mothers? Oh, silly, silly Americans, bring us more mothers so we may fuck on." It gets to the point of being disturbing, where you're looking at the dicks of the motherfuckers, chafed to bleeding from all the fucking. But these motherfuckers aren't gonna stop fucking mothers, even if it seems absurd or pathetic. If there are mothers to be fucked, the Senate Republicans will be there, ready to get fucking.
So it was that yesterday, 38 Republicans voted against ratifying the United Nations Convention on Rights of Persons with Disabilities, a 2006 treaty that's been ratified by 126 nations, including Pakistan, Myanmar, and Uganda (and, you know, most of Europe and South America, as well as China). Why did enough Republicans oppose the treaty, which does little more than say, "Hey, we should try to make the lives of people with disabilities a little less shitty," to deny it the two-thirds needed? Because sovereignty. Or freedom. Or something.
Getting ready for the vote, the "Action" arm of the Heritage Foundation said, in language reminiscent of a redneck office worker talking to his buddies over his gas grill in Phoenix, "[T]he liberals – Republicans and Democrats alike – in Congress are trying to subject our country — in which disabled Americans’ rights already receive robust protections under the law, which are enforced by a wide range of state and federal agencies — to the whims of some board of 'experts' in Geneva, Switzerland." Fuckin' experts, man. Always flaunting their "expertise" on "subjects" they "researched." By the way, the whole treaty was based on the Americans With Disabilities Act that was one of George H.W. Bush's proudest achievements.
One of the chief motherfuckers, Sen. James Inhofe of who the fuck cares said, "I do not support the cumbersome regulations and potentially overzealous international organizations with anti-American biases that infringe upon American society." The Rude Pundit doesn't like cops stopping him for going just ten miles per hour over the speed limit, but at least he admits he was breaking the fuckin' law.
There's a few things going on here. One is the obvious, the motherfuckering as described above. Another is that Republicans hate when an international committee says something mean about the United States, which, as we all know, is the most exceptional place in the history of the universe, known and unknown. For instance, as the Heritage Action blog notes, a U.N. committee reviewing racial discrimination in the U.S. said, "Specifically, the committee urged the United States to guarantee effective judicial review to the foreign unlawful enemy combatants held at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility, prevent U.S. corporations from abusing the rights of indigenous populations in other countries, place a moratorium on the death penalty, restore voting rights to convicted felons, and take action on other matters completely unrelated or only tangentially related to racial discrimination." Bastards. Bet they were in Switzerland, land of evil neutrality, too. You remember all the shit that the U.S. did in 2008 after that report came out? Remember that moratorium on the death penalty? The restoration of voting rights? The closing of Gitmo? No? That's because the committee existed to report, not enforce.
But there's something else, buried a bit, but there nonetheless. See, Article 25 says that signers to the treaty should ensure that their nations can "Provide persons with disabilities with the same range, quality and standard of free or affordable health care and programmes as provided to other persons, including in the area of sexual and reproductive health and population-based public health programmes." Which, for your motherfuckers in the Senate and all the motherfuckers on the nutzoid right, means abortions for all. As Heritage writes, "Within the context of the debate over abortion rights, Article 25 of the Disabilities Convention could be interpreted as ensuring that persons with disabilities are provided access to free or affordable abortions, assuming such access is provided to non-disabled persons by the state party." Or prenatal care. Or gynecological exams. If "reproductive health" only means "abortion" to you, there's something seriously fucking wrong with you. One note here: what's the logic in denying a legal medical procedure to people with disabilities? That would be discrimination, no?
Read the treaty yourself. It's a bracing statement in favor of the dignity of people with disabilities. Bob Dole supports it, as does George W. Bush, who negotiated it. Eight Republicans, who were just a little weary of the motherfucking, voted for it, too. Why? Because it's a fucking treaty to help the disabled that changes nothing in U.S. law, but makes a statement that the world acknowledges the rights of a certain group of people. And because when that comes up, you vote for it, unless you're a...well, you know by now.