2/11/2004

Of Blood and Titties:
Oh, the sharks have smelled blood and there may just be a feeding frenzy. Yesterday, Scott McClellan got the equivalent of a bitch-slapping from the media, with one reporter saying, "I asked a simple question; how about a simple answer?" The White House was "taken aback" by the intensity of the questions, and, despite Bush's explicit promise to release all of his military records, he only released a few, which show, that, much like the mob boss's cousin who "works" for the local construction company, Bush got paid, even if no one knows if he showed up.

Why this story, after all this time? Because it's easy. Especially with Kerry in the race. It's easy to ask: did Bush weasel out of the weaseling he was doing by getting into the guard? Did a son of privilege abuse the privilege? You want class warfare? How about wrapping it up with real warfare? And if Bush can be outed as AWOL or too coked up to take a physical, then all the other ways in which this administration has lied can start tumbling out. The story's got it all: our great national anxiety over Vietnam and its meaning during a current war that has all the hallmarks of making America waist deep in the big sandy.

But, remember, we are dealing here with the pinnacle of the Lee Atwater/Newt Gingrichization of political viciousness when we talk about the fuckers running the President's re-election campaign. A wedge is not a wedge unless it's shoved so far up the rectum of the American electorate that it can't think about anything but the wedge issue. Hence, Bush will come out in favor of amending the Constitution to say gays can't get "married," with an eye on Kerry not supporting it. And, if it's not bad enough that Kerry loves fags, they will probe his every orifice to say, "Look, he has a pimple. He must have gotten it from a whore."

Except for one little thing: America is not the country the cretinous, verminous, soul-free pieces of shit in the Bush campaign (and administration) think it is. You know why? Because people love titties. And most people don't care about Janet Jackson's pierced titty, but Michael Powell, as a member of the Bush brigade, has made it his crusade to wipe the titty from our memory or to punish those who would enable viewing of the titty. Powell called the titty a "new low" in primetime television, apparently having very little memory of Manimal or Supertrain. Wanna talk about something shoved up someone's ass? However, most Americans don't fucking care about the titty or how many titties are on television.

Most Americans would welcome airwaves filled with titties if they knew they're leaders wouldn't lie to them, if they knew where to find jobs, if, if, if. So the major media are not fools. They can see the tide is turning against the Bush administration in the public eye. The Rude Pundit has heard tell that John King of CNN can smell an open wound even through the fecund fragrance of cherry blossoms in spring. Let the feeding begin.